13 Red Flags to Watch For in Dating a Divorced Woman

Are you thinking about asking a recently divorced woman out on a date? 

Well, stop right there! 

Before you take the plunge and ask her out, it’s essential to know what you’re getting yourself into.

A divorced woman could make great partners, as they often bring more experience and insight into a relationship. 

However, the woman may come with her own set of baggage and relationship issues.

From prior commitment issues to financial concerns, this guide will help you identify any red flags lurking beneath the surface.

Is It Hard to Date a Divorced Woman?

The answer: Yes and No. For some, the concept of dating a divorced woman can be intimidating – and not without good reason.

It often comes with a certain amount of baggage that can be challenging to navigate.

That said, it doesn’t necessarily have to be a scary prospect; sometimes, being with someone who has weathered heartache can make for an incredibly gratifying experience.

Whether you’re dating a new or long-term divorced woman, as long as your relationship is founded on respect and trust, you’ll probably find it just as rewarding as any other.

Most divorcees seek someone understanding, compassionate, and willing to take things slow.

And while it may feel like a lot of personal history comes along with each date, it’s important to remember that everyone has their own story and can bring something unique to the table.

That said, it isn’t necessarily harder or easier to date someone who is or isn’t divorced – it all comes down to finding someone with whom you have a good connection and a willingness to learn from each other.

With that in mind, a little patience can go a long way when dating someone after a divorce.

How Long Should a Divorced Woman Wait to Date?

Every situation is different, and there’s no definitive answer to this question.

However, it’s essential to consider a few things before starting a new relationship with a divorcee.

Ensure their divorce is legally finalized: The divorce process is emotionally draining, financially straining, and legally complicated. The process of legally finalizing a divorce can be lengthy and may take much longer than expected. To make sure you are dating someone who is not still married to their ex, double-check the legal status of her divorce before asking her out.

Make sure she has taken enough time to heal: Breakups are emotionally strenuous for everyone involved, and a divorce can be even more so. It’s important to give someone enough time to heal from their prior relationships before dating them. Someone who has recently gone through a divorce may still be adjusting to life after the split, and taking things slow is key in allowing them to process their emotions before jumping into dating again.

Whether or not there are still unresolved issues with the ex: A marriage is a life-long commitment, and divorce can be a complex process. If unresolved issues such as child custody, legal proceedings, or money need to be sorted out between the former spouses, dating someone who is still in the midst of dealing with these matters may not work out in the long run.

13 Red Flags to Watch For in Dating a Divorced Woman

Are you looking to take the plunge and enter a relationship with a recently divorced woman? Having been through such an emotionally draining experience, she may come with her own set of red flags.

Thankfully, we’ve got your back.

Check out these 13 vital red flags to watch out for when dating a recently divorced woman.

From conflicts over living arrangements to baggage from past relationships, buckle up, and let’s dive right in:

1. They Want a Commitment Too Quickly

It’s natural for anybody who has just gone through a divorce to seek stability in their next relationship.

However, if your date is pushing for a commitment too quickly or rushing into things too fast, she could be lonely and trying to fill that void in her life.

Is she putting pressure on you to live together after a few dates, or is she already hinting about marriage? If so, you should take this as a red flag and proceed with caution.

2. They Have Unresolved Issues With Their Ex

Does she talk about her ex-husband more than she talks about herself when you’re out? Does she always bring him up in conversations that have nothing to do with him?

Most divorced women carry some emotional baggage from their past relationships, from bitterness to resentment.

So, if you suspect your date still has unresolved issues with her ex, talk to her about it. 

Having a genuine conversation will help you get an idea of what the issues are and what residual uncomfortable emotions linger between them.

But if the situation is more complicated than you thought, it’s best to give her some time to heal and work through any residual feelings she has for her ex.

3. She Has Gone Through Multiple Divorces

Multiple divorces can be a red flag in a relationship for various reasons. For starters, it speaks to a person’s capacity for commitment and trustworthiness.

If someone has gone through multiple divorces, it could indicate that they are likely to move on quickly when things get tough or even when they start to feel bored.

And depending on the nature of the divorce, there could be underlying issues, such as

As she may not have addressed these issues following previous relationships, they could resurface in future ones.

Therefore, a pattern of multiple divorces can be seen as a sign that requires further exploration and deeper understanding before making any long-term commitments. 

On the flip side, however, her many divorces may have been due to circumstances outside her control.

Their current relationship might fare much better if both parties approach it openly and honestly about their past experiences.

4. They Have Unrealistic Expectations

Divorcees may have a particularly difficult time adjusting to the new single life and may expect things from their partners that are impossible or out of reach.

This may manifest as them expecting too much from you or expecting an overly perfect relationship. For instance, they may expect you to shower them with compliments and extravagant gifts daily or think that you two should see eye-to-eye on everything and never disagree.

And if she’s been burned in the past, she may project her negative experience onto your relationship. It can lead to an unreasonable idea of what constitutes a successful relationship.

5. She Still Has Feelings for Her Ex-Husband

If your date still has strong feelings for her ex-husband, she may find it challenging to open up and trust someone new.

And if those feelings of love never fully dissipated, she could be emotionally vulnerable and more prone to making impulsive decisions.

On the other hand, she could also be on a rebound streak, using you as a replacement for her former partner.

If that’s the case, she may be searching for something that isn’t there and could end up disappointed or hurt in the long run.

Either way, you should talk to her about her feelings for her ex and gauge where she stands. If the feelings seem too intense and overwhelming, it may be best to take a step back from dating until she has worked through them.

6. She Has Been Through Deep Trauma

Emotional, physical, and mental abuse can have a very real and lasting impact on a person’s life. If your date has been through an abusive relationship, she may struggle to cope with the experience and need extra help.

happy family playing in the park dating a divorced woman red flags

Trauma often brings anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and anger issues. These can all take a toll on your relationship if not properly addressed.

Additionally, she may struggle to open up and trust you and have difficulty expressing her feelings.

If the woman you’re interested in is struggling with any of these issues, it’s essential to be patient and supportive. But if you cannot provide the level of support your date requires, it may be best to step away.

7. Her Marriage Ended Due To Infidelity on Her Part

With over 50% of marriages ending in divorce, infidelity is often the culprit. If your date was unfaithful to her ex-husband and has now moved on to dating someone new, she may find it hard not to repeat this pattern in the future.

And even if she’s promised never to cheat again, be cautious when getting into a relationship with her. Pay attention to any signs that she may be drifting away from your relationship, as betrayal can happen at any time.

On the other hand, she could have been a victim of infidelity in her marriage. If this is the case, she may have trust issues that require extra effort on both sides to build a strong connection.

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8. She Talks About Her Ex in a Negative Tone

Few women like their ex-husbands, especially if the marriage ended badly.

Understandably, your date may need to vent about her former partner, but if she’s constantly bashing him and bad-mouthing him in front of you, it could be a sign that she’s still hung up on her marriage and not ready to move on.

She might also use her ex as a comparison point for dating you, which can damage the relationship. In this case, it might be best to take things slowly and suggest counseling or therapy before committing yourself to the relationship.

You should also make it clear that you disapprove of negative talk about her ex. If she cannot control her negative feelings and be respectful of her former partner, she will likely do the same to you in the future.

9. She’s Too Dependent on You

Divorce does a number on a woman’s self-confidence. She may have trouble trusting people, believing in herself, and making decisions independently.

If the woman you’re seeing is too dependent on you for decision-making, it could be a sign that she hasn’t fully recovered from the end of her marriage. She may also expect you to provide emotional support whenever she needs it without taking any responsibility for her well-being.

While dating a recently divorced woman can be quite challenging, it’s essential to take things slowly and not rush into anything too quickly.

Your date may want to cling to you because she feels scared or insecure, but this can end up suffocating your relationship in the long run.

Instead of always being there to catch her when she falls, ensure she has the tools and resources to work on self-improvement and rebuild her independence.

10. She Is Looking for a Replacement Dad for Her Kids

If your date has children, it may be difficult for her to balance dating and parenting. She could be looking for a replacement father figure in you, even if she is unaware of it.

man happily conversing with a woman in a restaurant dating a divorced woman red flags

Unfortunately, this can create a power imbalance in your relationship. She places her child’s needs above yours, and you’re expected to take on the role of a parent.

You should talk to your date about these dynamics and ensure that both you and her children are comfortable with the new arrangement. If not, it may be best to wait until she’s had more time to process her divorce before going out with her.

11. She Compares You to Her Ex-Husband

Comparison is the thief of joy, especially when it comes to dating. If your lady constantly compares you to her ex-husband and holds you to a higher standard, it’s a sign that she’s still emotionally attached to him somehow.

She might bring up stories about him, criticize you for doing something the same way he did, or even compare you physically and emotionally.

When this happens, it’s essential to express your feelings and let her know that such comments are not acceptable or appropriate.

Remind her that no two relationships are the same and that you should be judged by your own merits, not those of her ex-husband.

12. She Gets Jealous Easily

Jealousy is a normal emotion, but when it becomes excessive or irrational, it can become a problem. If your date is still carrying baggage from her previous marriage, she might be quick to get jealous and suspicious over every little thing.

She may also feel threatened when you spend time with other women, friends, family members, and colleagues. You should address this issue as soon as possible and try to find the root cause of her jealousy.

If she can’t trust you or feel secure in your care, move on and find someone more capable of giving and receiving love without fear or doubt.

13. She Refuses to Talk About Her Ex-Husband

This may seem like a good thing to most men, but it could be a huge red flag. If your date refuses to talk about her previous marriage, it shows that she hasn’t fully healed from the trauma of her divorce and is still in denial about what happened.

She might also feel ashamed or embarrassed about how things ended between her and her ex-husband, and she wants to avoid the topic altogether.

In any case, it’s crucial to demonstrate patience and understanding when discussing her divorce.

Encourage her to open up with you about her feelings and what she has gone through. It can help you move forward as a couple.

Is Someone Being Divorced a Red Flag?

The answer to this question can be both yes and no. Whether or not someone’s past divorce is considered a “red flag” is largely dependent on the following:

The reasons for the divorce: If the divorce was due to infidelity, financial issues, or other serious issues on her part, it could indicate that she is not ready to enter into a new relationship.

How they handled the divorce: If someone did not handle their past divorce in a mature and amicable way, it shows that they are not yet ready to engage in a committed relationship.

The amount of time that has passed since the divorce: If it was a recent divorce, there might still be unresolved issues or communication breakdowns that need to be resolved before entering into a new relationship. Overall, someone’s past divorce is not necessarily an automatic “red flag” when

Their current emotional state: It’s important to assess how the individual is feeling and processing the end of their marriage. If they are still struggling to move on and are not completely emotionally available for a new relationship, this could be a sign that it is too soon for them to enter into one.

In the end, it largely depends upon your circumstances and how comfortable you feel entering into a relationship with someone who has previously been divorced. Consider all of the relevant factors carefully before making any decisions.

Final thoughts

Dating a divorced woman can be a gratifying and wonderful experience.

Remember to stay alert for signs of trouble and approach your relationship with patience, understanding, and open communication. 

By following these thirteen red flags and paying attention to the warning signs, you can ensure that your relationship is healthy and meaningful. All the best!

Before you date someone who's previously married, make sure they aren't red flags. Watch out for the dating a divorced woman red flags listed here.