13 signs of betrayal in friendship

One of the hardest parts of adult life is learning that friendships end — sometimes for sad reasons.

Even close friends can sometimes betray you, leading to myriad emotions.

Unfortunately, it can happen no matter how old you are or how long you’ve been friends.

The good news is that there are some signs to look out for.

These could be clues that your boyfriend has cheated on you or is thinking of cheating on you.

How does it feel when a friend betrays you?

When a friend is cheating on you, it’s natural to have a lot of conflicting feelings. Some of this depends on the exact situation.

Examples of a friend betrayal could be stealing a romantic partner, sharing a deeply personal secret, or pursuing something they know you wanted.

When your boyfriend is cheating on you, you may feel:


These are all perfectly normal reactions to having a friend pull the rug out from under you.

It may take some time for these feelings to dissipate, especially if the friend in question doesn’t apologize or admit their betrayal.

13 signs of betrayal in friendship

So how do you know if your boyfriend is going to cheat on you? These 13 signs could give you a clue as to what’s going on.

While it’s still going to hurt, it might be better to be forewarned so you’re not caught off guard.

1. They seem to avoid you

Maybe it’s a guilty conscience, or maybe they’re trying to tune you out, but your friend seems to be avoiding you. They ignore your calls and texts, or offer flimsy excuses for why they haven’t been in touch.

If you ask if you did something to upset them, they may say something vague that doesn’t provide a real answer. Good friends make an effort to keep in touch, and deliberate avoidance is not normal.

2. They chip

If you manage to make plans with a friend who’s drifting away, don’t be surprised if he breaks out. Whenever you try to meet up, it seems like something has come to mind — and it’s not something that really adds up.

People can only have a limited number of car accidents or family problems before it becomes fairly obvious that they’re trying to avoid you. If your friend keeps canceling plans, something else may be happening.

3. They undermine your confidence

Good friends should be supportive and kind. A friend who might be cheating on you may be trying to undermine your confidence by making passive-aggressive comments, insidious compliments, or unhelpful suggestions.

They might belittle you in front of others or disagree with you in a way that makes you appear illogical or incompetent.

Other ways people might do this are by exposing their flaws to others or downplaying their achievements.

4. You don’t respect your boundaries

A good friend respects your boundaries, whether they agree with it or not. A friend who betrayed you may repeatedly disregard the boundaries you set.

These can be large or small, e.g. B. keeping your secrets or respecting your preference that they text before coming over.

Denying someone’s wishes shows that they don’t care about your sense of comfort, security, and trust—or that they think their preferences are more important.

5. They give insincere compliments

We’ve all received an insidious compliment at some point, and they can really hurt.

Insincere compliments can be something like, “You finally did something right!” or “I never thought that dress would look good on you” or “Your skin looks so much better than it did last week.”

These backward compliments are meant to sound nice but are clearly insults if you stop and think about it. The only reason people give them is to make you feel bad.

6. They are not happy for you

Maybe you just got a big promotion at work, started a new relationship, or heard great news about a close family member. Ideally, your friends will be happy for you because you feel happy.

But if your boyfriend cheated on you, they don’t seem very happy with your luck.

In fact, they seem downright annoyed or even angry about it, briefly congratulate and then walk away from the conversation.

7. They hide their phone or social media

Just like with cheating partners, friends who walk away from you can hide their phone or social media from you.

Not that friends typically have free access to each other’s phones, but you might notice them quickly put their phone down when you enter the room, or be evasive when you ask who they’re talking to.

These things alone might mean nothing, but they can certainly indicate something sneaky behind your back.

8. You seem jealous

Oddly enough, does your friend seem fixated on your accomplishments or blessings, but not for the best of reasons? Perhaps they often make jealous remarks about your financial status, relationships, or material possessions.

Frequent comments like this often have a lot of trouble behind them, and that eventually becomes obvious.

You can always gently ask her if everything is ok. Unfortunately, if they cheated on you, they probably won’t be honest with you about what they really think.

9. They make mean jokes

In a friendship there should be room for jokes and sometimes even good-natured teasing. But “good-natured” is the keyword.

If your friend is constantly making jokes at your expense or seems to enjoy embarrassing or belittling you, it’s safe to say something is wrong.

It’s always a good idea to voice your concerns to make sure there isn’t a misunderstanding. If they mean well, they apologize and back off.

10. You avoid your questions

You sense something is wrong, so start asking questions. You might even wonder if you did something wrong and your friend is mad at you.

Sometimes it happens that you have a heart-to-heart talk and reveal everything.

But if they dodge your questions and insist everything is fine when they clearly aren’t, then something else could be afoot. Good friends should not be evasive when it comes to solving problems.

11. They gossip about you

Talking about a friend behind their back is never okay. If one of your friends suddenly lashes out at everyone you know, they owe you an explanation… and an apology.

Two angry women scream at each other about their friends' betrayal

Of course, most people don’t just start gossiping out of nowhere. It could be a sign that your friendship has gone sour. It could also be a sign of their true nature. People can be good at hiding their bad side until it suits them.

12. They ignore you

Friendship goes both ways. Just like in a relationship, there has to be give and take. If your friend doesn’t seem to be listening to you when you’re talking, you should take note.

A lasting friendship isn’t possible if they demand that you listen to their problems but never return the favor.

It could just be a sign that they’re not a good friend — but it could also be a sign that something has changed.

13. They tell little lies

Most of us tell a white lie occasionally, but if your friend seems to be lying frequently for no reason, something strange might be going on.

They might be trying to cover their tracks so you don’t know what they’re up to – or they might be showing their dishonest side. Some people are pathological liars, which means they lie all the time without any real drive.

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What to do if you get cheated on by a friend

So what should you do after feeling the effects of betrayal in friendship? It can take some real effort to get over the experience and heal the emotional wounds.

1. Take some time to think

It’s easy to do things rashly when you’re feeling sad, hurt, angry, or humiliated. Try not to make any big decisions before you take the time to think.

You can do this by keeping a journal, discussing it with someone else, or just sitting with your thoughts. Think about your friendship, the betrayal, and how it affected your relationship.

2. Confide in a friend or therapist

Getting an outside perspective can help you sort out your feelings and figure out what you want to do.

A listening ear can help with your emotional needs, and a different voice can help you feel validated—or see things from a new perspective. Regardless, it’s always good to talk to people about emotional experiences.

3. Contact other friends

It’s not a good idea to chatter about friendship drama and try to play mutual friends off against each other.

But it’s a good idea to find strength and comfort in other friendships. When you’re feeling let down by a friend, having other friends offer support can make a big difference.

4. Open the lines of communication when you feel ready

Let’s be clear: even if you want to try to fix the relationship, it’s okay if you’re not ready right away.

Stylish girls, angry boyfriend, betrayal

You have every right to say to your friend, “I’d like to talk about this sometime, but right now I feel too hurt and vulnerable to have a conversation. I’ll be in touch when I’m ready.”

5. Decide if cutting ties is a good idea

Unfortunately, some friendships cannot be saved – and reconciliation must not be one-sided. Sometimes cutting ties with your boyfriend may be the best thing for your mental and emotional health.

You can’t force forgiveness either, so sometimes the best way to go ahead and forgive them is to make some space. Losing a friend is always sad, but sometimes it’s the best way forward.

6. Think about what you need to do to heal and move on

Sometimes you might need time to mourn the friendship you lost. It’s okay to feel the pain, anger, and betrayal they inflicted on you. However, it is not healthy to linger on those memories forever.

Think about what you need to do to move on from the experience, whether it’s making new friends, going to therapy, or something else.

Witness a friend’s betrayal

Unfortunately, most people experience betrayal at the hands of a friend at some point. While it’s always a sad experience, it can open the door to healthier friendships with other people.

Betrayal does not come from your enemies, but from friends you trust with all your heart.  Find out the signs of betrayal of friends in this post.